I know what you nee

"What you need to do is. . . " and I don't recall what followed because my brain shut down in resistance. I just don't like to be told how I feel, what I need, or what I should do. Who does? Even when I know that someone has more expertise than me I still resist. I cringe when my doctor says that I need more exercise. My inner rebel stands to attention when my diocese hands down the call to attend another workshop. I don't even like financial guidance from my pension fund. This presents a challenge to me as my role as a priest often calls me to point out the needs of others. Of course we followers of Christ are called to love our neighbor. We wrestle with how to meet the needs of others in a way that honors their dignity and enables them to thrive. There are other needs that the Church seeks to meet, and it is those needs that I wish to address.

My role as a priest and pastor gets challenged when we set about the work of planning activities, worship, and mission for the parish. As I meet with staff and committees we look at what has drawn folks in the past, and at things that just are not working. Again and again I have heard some well meaning parishioner say: "We should ask folks what they want." I have followed that line of thinking before and found it to be a frustrating path. I recall youth group meetings where we made a list of all the great activities kids wanted. (We did leave off the suggestion that "beer and strippers" would help the group grow.) We set about planning many of those activities, but most were scrubbed as participation dwindled. We provided what they said they wanted and it didn't seem to matter. Ski trips and lock-ins are fun, but are they truly what the Church is about?

As the Church, we know what people need. As a priest, I know what you need. Hold on, please don't shut down as I so often do. We hold that people need a relationship with Christ, that Christ called us to live that relationship in community, and that this relationship will transform us and our world. You need a relationship with Christ. You need a community that holds you accountable. You need the transforming love of Christ that will increase your love of the world.

We may want a congregation that gives us the music we like, entertains our kids, and has a pastor we can relate to. Those are not we need. I am challenged as those are some of the very things that I focus my concern on when considering congregational life. I worry about the numbers and try to think of flashy ways to draw people in. Yet I see every day that the people who are growing in commitment to Christ and the Church are not asking for those things. They are folks who have found real transformation by engaging in the life of the community. They have entered into worship as an experience with God even if they don't like a particular song or the sermon is kind of flat. They have built relationships over cups of mediocre coffee. They have found the love of Christ in authentic community.

So to my parishioners I want to apologize for trying to give you what you want. Such efforts have exhausted me and haven't provided what you need. I extend a challenge to my ordained brothers and sisters to step up and tell people what they need. It is the same thing we all need. We need that loving relationship with Christ. Whether we know it or not, it is what we truly desire.