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Spiritual But Not Religious? Don't Challenge Me

I recently read a blog entry entitled Spiritual But Not Religious? Please, Stop Boring Me . It is written by a minister who recounts that she often hears the line "I am spiritual, but not religious" when people find out that she is a pastor. I know the feeling. I also resonate with the snarky response she exhibits in her blog. I often roll my eyes and think what a lazy response "spiritual but not religious" seems to be. So I chuckled when I read this response and shared the links through various social media. Many friends (clergy and lay) liked and re-posted. One wise parishioner responded by asking what I thought about this attitude. "Is this the only Christian response?"


First of all, I am sure that the author of the piece didn't mean to dismiss these folks. If  this pastor is anything like me and a few other ordained people I know, she is also letting fly some of the cynical frustration that bubbles under the collar. (I did say that I resonated with this, didn't I?) In fact, the piece makes us religious types laugh at the experience, and at ourselves. Laughing at ourselves or others is a good place to start when considering a more compassionate response. 


My parishioner dug deep and came back with some pointed questions. She said:


 I wonder what is your take on this? I thought the author blindly lumped the "spiritual but not religious" together without considering the variety of people who may utter this sentence. People, maybe, who have been wounded by a religious institution. It is also a zero-sum game she proposes: either the person is a cloud-gazing coward, or they are like her, bravely seeking God in humanity. Isn't it possible that they are both without being "religious"? Is this the only Christian response? One that compares and qualifies our spirituality to that of others?


With congregants like this, who needs a spiritual director? This is indeed not the only Christian response. A more pastoral response would take into account where the person was coming from and what their experience might be.  Many of those categories are noted in the comment above. Religious groups have done a great deal of damage, and the message of a grand deity watching over us doesn't always pass as positive. Of course, pain and negativity aren't always good reasons to take an easier path.  


Most religions worth anything are well aware of pain and suffering. We acknowledge, accept it, and respond to it. A spirituality of the sunset isn't invalid. I believe that we need more than this for true spiritual transformation. I have found the religious community to be a place where I can bring my sunset experiences as well as my wounds, doubts, and fears. I find the rituals and prayers of old that hold me accountable for seeing the beauty of life, and the reality of death. I find a community that challenges me and tolerates me. I am called to consider the wonder of God in nature, and to turn to my fellow humans with compassion. 


So, to that person telling me they are "spiritual but not religious" I can offer a listening ear, and share my own journey of what religion has done to hold and shape my spirituality. I can also challenge my own community to be a place that welcomes the wounded without comparing their way to ours. We can realize that some folks just can't be involved in community in the same way as those of us who feel drawn to communion, or can't imagine not having burial rites within the church walls. 


Today, I am thankful for a pastor who expressed in a humorous way what I often feel. I also give thanks for a parishioner who called me beyond a chuckle. I will take all of us this with me when I pray using forms passed to me through religious tradition. As I look to the sunset I will hold in those prayers all who find spirituality outside religious forms. 

One Sojourner's Journey of Believing Out Loud

News broke this week that Sojourners Magazine declined to accept an ad for Believe Out Loud, an interfaith organization promoting the inclusion of gay, lesbian, and transgender people in congregations and faith communities. The news and responses have stirred many folks to share their opinion on the matter. I got sucked into commenting on a young man’s Facebook post that expressed pleasure that Sojo did not print the ad. In the midst of all the banter, phrases like “liberal gay agenda” and “the bible clearly says” had me grinding my teeth. I felt the familiar exhaustion of this ongoing argument, and I also felt that I have a personal stake in it.

I take the issue of including LGBTQ people in the church personally because I am the rector of a congregation that has been welcoming for some time. Last year, an older member of my congregation approached me about St. James signing on to be a Believe Out Loud congregation. We presented the information to our vestry, formed a committee, and had an open meeting with the congregation. Believe Out Loud asks congregations to make and publish a statement that explicitly welcomes people. The committee had a statement that they presented to those gathered. Most people were supportive and shared stories of their relationships and experience. A few expressed that the lifestyles affirmed were just wrong, and the church should not be endorsing them. Others were concerned that the statement wasn’t inclusive enough. At the end of the evening those gathered referred the decision to the vestry.

At the next vestry meeting our affiliation with Believe Out Loud was approved along with the following statement:

St. James Church welcomes all people. We believe that God's grace embraces and dwells in everyone. We welcome all people to ministry and worship regardless of race, ethnicity, creed, class, age, gender, marital status, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. All are welcome.

We subsequently began to publish the statement on our bulletin, newsletter, and website. We also linked to the Believe Out Loud website. The response was almost immediate. People started calling me, and visiting the Church because they felt welcomed. A few months after this process a parishioner did come talk to me as they were distressed about the statement and thinking of leaving the congregation that they had been part of for many years. “Why are we doing this?” they asked. “We are already welcoming. They are already accepted here. Why do we need to say this?” Great question, so why are we saying this?

I believe that the driving force behind the congregation of St. James making this statement is relationship. At our congregational meeting, many people shared stories of being gay and finding acceptance here, of their children and grandchildren, and of their experience of knowing faithful gay and lesbian people who reflect the love of God in their lives. Many of us have known the witness of long-lasting loving relationships that in no way could fit the description of “vile affections” as described in Romans 1. It has “seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit” to honor and welcome these people into our congregations. Many, myself included, feel that we should be naming God’s blessing on these relationships as well.

It has been through relationships that I came to accept homosexuality- no, that is not right- to accept people of all kinds. I was not convinced by “the gay agenda.” My relationships have caused me to look again at scripture, our culture, and my faith traditions. In those things I see that relationships are what change people. Knowledge of God might lead us to relationship, but it is not the relationship itself. In fact, relationships of any kind are mysterious. We can’t know everything about the other (or even ourselves). Indeed, my theology is very much influenced by the subjective, and the felt. I admit that, and know that subjective arguments will not satisfy many people.

In my daily life I am convinced completely by relationship. It is the relationships of people at St. James that caused us to make an explicit statement welcoming all people. Of course some say that no statement is needed as we are already welcoming. Some say that the statement excludes those it doesn’t mention. To that I say that we (at least our particular community) do not make this statement for ourselves, we make it for our relationship to the world. There are people who have no idea that there is a place where they can be welcomed to worship God and be a follower of Christ. Issues of sexuality are at the forefront of cultural argument and attention, so we hold that up now. Maybe we won’t need this statement some day. We have made this statement out of the particular experiences of relationship and how they have changed us. We make this statement in order to call people into relationship with God.

I am trying to honor those who disagree with me, and I am grateful that some who don’t agree with the St. James Believe Out Loud statement have continued to worship and minister with us. I am finding that my relationships are pushing toward my coming out more openly as a supporter of LGBTQ people. So I start today with these words on a blog that is read by only a few people I am in relationship with. May relationships continue to transform us. May relationship with God be declared as open to all.

So Much to Say

In the light of the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden I have been curious to see what folks are saying around the internet. I am especially interested in Christian responses. If anything, I know that it stirs up many things inside of me. I am glad that an evil man has been stopped, yet i am sad that violence for violence remains the way of humanity. I will not rejoice in the killing of anyone. Jesus calls us to pray for our enemies, and so I do. I come to pray with a heart that is conflicted and searching. I come believing that prayer changes us. For the past few days my prayer has been guided by these words in the Book Of Common Prayer:

For our Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love
our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth:
deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in
your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you,
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP 816)

I have also appreciated the following:

Experimental Theology: What To Say?

I copy the letter below that my friend The Rev. Rob Wright sent to his congregation. Rob doesn't mention it, but he also served in the U.S. Navy.

St Pauls Episcopal church - Homepage

A Letter from the Rector - May 2, 2011 Brothers and Sisters, I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ. I write in response to the report that Osama Bin Laden and others have been killed. While some will, understandably, rejoice at this news, I do not. I believe many others around the world do not. Something other than celebration is required here. A human being is dead, killed by other human beings. To say nothing of the many human beings killed over the nearly ten years since the war and manhunt began. While it is reported that Osama Bin Laden was a killer himself-and I have every reason to believe that- yet, even killers are human beings made in the image of God. Some say that justice has been done in ridding the world of Osama Bin Laden, and other "high priority targets," but this is not the justice that Jesus himself lived and taught. At His arrest the night before his Crucifixion Jesus told His disciples,"...those who live by the sword will die by the sword." There is no real justice or victory in the killing of Osama Bin Laden, or in any terrorist attack, or in any war, or with the execution of any criminal, only a tragic continuation of violence as a false solution passed on from one generation to the next. Please do not think me naïve; I was in New York City when hijacked airplanes toppled the Twin Towers. I was at Ground Zero while the buildings were still on fire ministering to First Responders. I saw first hand what hate and murder produced, and that emboldens me to say these things to you now: murder in all its forms is a moral failure, and a confession of our lack of creativity and civility. Today I ask you to join with me and other people around the world, Muslim and Christian alike in praying for the souls of all those killed: Osama Bin Laden; the men and women of our armed forces; all the families that have an empty seat at their dinner tables; the nameless faceless people in Iraq, Afghanistan Pakistan and finally for ourselves, our nation and our President, that we would recommit ourselves to the justice that Jesus actually taught, " to love enemy, to bless those that curse you; to pray for those who despitefully use you." Alleluia Christ is Risen! Rob+

Good words in troubled times. As we go forward I am comforted by the words of the angels at the empty tomb, "Be not afraid," and of the words of the risen Jesus to his disciples, "Peace be with you."

Indeed.

Fr. Dude

Technology and Lent

Many of my friends give up Facebook and/or the internet for Lent. I can understand this. What if for every time I skimmed my news feed I was praying or reading scripture? Well, I use my many devices to aid me in prayer and study. I was gifted a lovely Nook Color and I have loaded it with ebooks including a Bible, and some prayer resources.

I recently discovered a plan online for reading the Church Fathers for Lent at http://www.churchyear.net/lentfathers.html . This site has the reading in several PDF forms including one that has the reading schedule and the complete readings. The dates listed are for 2010, but one can easily adjust. I downloaded the full text and converted it to an ebook at Online epub converter, a free conversion site that I have found to be safe and easy. I loaded the text on my Nook and now I can easily keep this part of my discipline wherever I go.

In this case, technology is an aid to my discipline of study. This is not always the case. I must confess that I most often use the internet as a distraction. I do use it to study, and to say the Daily Office, but I am frequently playing games or wandering down a twisted path of links and comments. While I use social media I don't feel like I use it as well as I could. I started this blog years ago, and have but a few posts. Any blog is about shameless self promotion, but most blogs also have some higher purpose. I certainly intended to use this blog as a way to stimulate some thinking about things that are important to me and my journey with Christ. As a priest I have indeed found that the personal becomes universal if we but only share with others. The sermons wherein I preach what I need to hear resonate more with others than when I am preaching about what I think I know. So as I turn inward during Lent, I pledge to make use of the technology available to me to also turn outward. I will better use this blog and social media to share my journey, believing that others might be touched by the reflections of a fellow pilgrim.

So brothers and sisters, do not be like those wire-heads who speak into their tooths of blue to seem important, or like the gamers who ignore the body for the virtual, or like the posters who vent behind anonymous comments. Seek what is good. Proclaim the good news from the rooftops, the laptops, and the smartphones. Do not judge those hypnotized by the lighted screen, but instead let the light of God shine in your hearts.

Have a blessed Lent. Perhaps you might want to do your own search of the internet for helps during Lent. Share with others how you use technology to draw closer to God. For starters, check out what The Rev. Scott Gunn has to say over at Seven Whole Days .

The Dude Abides.