News broke this week that Sojourners Magazine declined to accept an ad for Believe Out Loud, an interfaith organization promoting the inclusion of gay, lesbian, and transgender people in congregations and faith communities. The news and responses have stirred many folks to share their opinion on the matter. I got sucked into commenting on a young man’s Facebook post that expressed pleasure that Sojo did not print the ad. In the midst of all the banter, phrases like “liberal gay agenda” and “the bible clearly says” had me grinding my teeth. I felt the familiar exhaustion of this ongoing argument, and I also felt that I have a personal stake in it.
I take the issue of including LGBTQ people in the church personally because I am the rector of a congregation that has been welcoming for some time. Last year, an older member of my congregation approached me about St. James signing on to be a Believe Out Loud congregation. We presented the information to our vestry, formed a committee, and had an open meeting with the congregation. Believe Out Loud asks congregations to make and publish a statement that explicitly welcomes people. The committee had a statement that they presented to those gathered. Most people were supportive and shared stories of their relationships and experience. A few expressed that the lifestyles affirmed were just wrong, and the church should not be endorsing them. Others were concerned that the statement wasn’t inclusive enough. At the end of the evening those gathered referred the decision to the vestry.
We subsequently began to publish the statement on our bulletin, newsletter, and website. We also linked to the Believe Out Loud website. The response was almost immediate. People started calling me, and visiting the Church because they felt welcomed. A few months after this process a parishioner did come talk to me as they were distressed about the statement and thinking of leaving the congregation that they had been part of for many years. “Why are we doing this?” they asked. “We are already welcoming. They are already accepted here. Why do we need to say this?” Great question, so why are we saying this?
I believe that the driving force behind the congregation of St. James making this statement is relationship. At our congregational meeting, many people shared stories of being gay and finding acceptance here, of their children and grandchildren, and of their experience of knowing faithful gay and lesbian people who reflect the love of God in their lives. Many of us have known the witness of long-lasting loving relationships that in no way could fit the description of “vile affections” as described in Romans 1. It has “seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit” to honor and welcome these people into our congregations. Many, myself included, feel that we should be naming God’s blessing on these relationships as well.
It has been through relationships that I came to accept homosexuality- no, that is not right- to accept people of all kinds. I was not convinced by “the gay agenda.” My relationships have caused me to look again at scripture, our culture, and my faith traditions. In those things I see that relationships are what change people. Knowledge of God might lead us to relationship, but it is not the relationship itself. In fact, relationships of any kind are mysterious. We can’t know everything about the other (or even ourselves). Indeed, my theology is very much influenced by the subjective, and the felt. I admit that, and know that subjective arguments will not satisfy many people.
In my daily life I am convinced completely by relationship. It is the relationships of people at St. James that caused us to make an explicit statement welcoming all people. Of course some say that no statement is needed as we are already welcoming. Some say that the statement excludes those it doesn’t mention. To that I say that we (at least our particular community) do not make this statement for ourselves, we make it for our relationship to the world. There are people who have no idea that there is a place where they can be welcomed to worship God and be a follower of Christ. Issues of sexuality are at the forefront of cultural argument and attention, so we hold that up now. Maybe we won’t need this statement some day. We have made this statement out of the particular experiences of relationship and how they have changed us. We make this statement in order to call people into relationship with God.
I am trying to honor those who disagree with me, and I am grateful that some who don’t agree with the St. James Believe Out Loud statement have continued to worship and minister with us. I am finding that my relationships are pushing toward my coming out more openly as a supporter of LGBTQ people. So I start today with these words on a blog that is read by only a few people I am in relationship with. May relationships continue to transform us. May relationship with God be declared as open to all.
I take the issue of including LGBTQ people in the church personally because I am the rector of a congregation that has been welcoming for some time. Last year, an older member of my congregation approached me about St. James signing on to be a Believe Out Loud congregation. We presented the information to our vestry, formed a committee, and had an open meeting with the congregation. Believe Out Loud asks congregations to make and publish a statement that explicitly welcomes people. The committee had a statement that they presented to those gathered. Most people were supportive and shared stories of their relationships and experience. A few expressed that the lifestyles affirmed were just wrong, and the church should not be endorsing them. Others were concerned that the statement wasn’t inclusive enough. At the end of the evening those gathered referred the decision to the vestry.
At the next vestry meeting our affiliation with Believe Out Loud was approved along with the following statement:
St. James Church welcomes all people. We believe that God's grace embraces and dwells in everyone. We welcome all people to ministry and worship regardless of race, ethnicity, creed, class, age, gender, marital status, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. All are welcome.
We subsequently began to publish the statement on our bulletin, newsletter, and website. We also linked to the Believe Out Loud website. The response was almost immediate. People started calling me, and visiting the Church because they felt welcomed. A few months after this process a parishioner did come talk to me as they were distressed about the statement and thinking of leaving the congregation that they had been part of for many years. “Why are we doing this?” they asked. “We are already welcoming. They are already accepted here. Why do we need to say this?” Great question, so why are we saying this?
I believe that the driving force behind the congregation of St. James making this statement is relationship. At our congregational meeting, many people shared stories of being gay and finding acceptance here, of their children and grandchildren, and of their experience of knowing faithful gay and lesbian people who reflect the love of God in their lives. Many of us have known the witness of long-lasting loving relationships that in no way could fit the description of “vile affections” as described in Romans 1. It has “seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit” to honor and welcome these people into our congregations. Many, myself included, feel that we should be naming God’s blessing on these relationships as well.
It has been through relationships that I came to accept homosexuality- no, that is not right- to accept people of all kinds. I was not convinced by “the gay agenda.” My relationships have caused me to look again at scripture, our culture, and my faith traditions. In those things I see that relationships are what change people. Knowledge of God might lead us to relationship, but it is not the relationship itself. In fact, relationships of any kind are mysterious. We can’t know everything about the other (or even ourselves). Indeed, my theology is very much influenced by the subjective, and the felt. I admit that, and know that subjective arguments will not satisfy many people.
In my daily life I am convinced completely by relationship. It is the relationships of people at St. James that caused us to make an explicit statement welcoming all people. Of course some say that no statement is needed as we are already welcoming. Some say that the statement excludes those it doesn’t mention. To that I say that we (at least our particular community) do not make this statement for ourselves, we make it for our relationship to the world. There are people who have no idea that there is a place where they can be welcomed to worship God and be a follower of Christ. Issues of sexuality are at the forefront of cultural argument and attention, so we hold that up now. Maybe we won’t need this statement some day. We have made this statement out of the particular experiences of relationship and how they have changed us. We make this statement in order to call people into relationship with God.
I am trying to honor those who disagree with me, and I am grateful that some who don’t agree with the St. James Believe Out Loud statement have continued to worship and minister with us. I am finding that my relationships are pushing toward my coming out more openly as a supporter of LGBTQ people. So I start today with these words on a blog that is read by only a few people I am in relationship with. May relationships continue to transform us. May relationship with God be declared as open to all.
4 comments:
Thank you for your candid witness! It is the sad truth that LGBT folks have been conditioned to assume that if they don't see orientation and gender mentioned specifically, it is not safe to assume they are implied. I hope you are correct that some day it will no longer be necessary to do so.
Thank you, John Mark, for describing the process you and your congregation followed in coming to a decision about being a welcoming parish -and- making a public statement. As for subjectivity--my observation is that regardless of what authority they quote, almost all people are actually making subjective judgments and decisions. Actual relationships provide us with the opportunity for new and different subjective experiences which open us to new possibilities in our thinking and in our lives.
yes! i was really proud of st james for going ahead with that. i appreciate your courage as a clergyman too, because i'm sure it's not always easy.
i may have already told you this, but when i first entered an episcopal church i looked at the visitor/new member card they have in the pews for you to fill out. under gender it said, "male, female, other." i couldn't believe it. i was so interested in who these crazy whiskey-palians were. i guess i say that to express that for all the people who are driven away by inclusive churches, there are people like me who rejoice because they can actually be christian again without having to draw boundaries between people.
keep up the good work.
I think that those who only started attending after you published your explicit welcome to them could stand witness for the necessity of that explicit welcome. It's certainly increased the possibility that I'll show up next Sunday!
Post a Comment