"You DO believe in God!"

At vestry meeting the discussion turned to whether or not we should allow nominations from the floor for vestry members as we are using a different selection process than voting by ballots. I had to let it be known that I understood her concerns and found nominations from the floor to be rather annoying no matter the selection method. I also feel that we should allow for nominations from the floor. We just have to trust.
After the meeting she comes up to me and says “You really do believe in God.” To which I replied “Well, I guess I do.” She says, “Some people were wondering.”
I was glad that my faith was revealed by my willingness to let the chosen process go without having to control it. I was also glad that many people understand that at some point we just have to trust.
My heart is also warmed to think that some of my parishioners might actually wonder if I believe in God. (Was she just being silly?) I think there was truth in her humor, and that maybe I have been real enough with some folks for them to see that I am not always 100% on the belief meter.
I do believe, or trust, or desire God- I feel less certain about how God works in the world, but I am holding out for a loving God that comes on a lot like the Jesus revealed in the Gospels. (Yes, I do trust that Jesus is indeed God!)
Thanks to Barbara for the reminder that I do believe, on a day when I wasn’t so sure. Of all things, I get that word from a discussion about our desire to control things. My heart and mind were stuck in that territory most of the day.
I definitely believe in God.

The Need to Know

Looking toward preaching on Sunday I re-read Mark 4:26-34, and I realized that I had missed something before. Jesus tells this story of what the kingdom of God is like: 

"As if someone would scatter seed on the ground, and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how."

That was the part I missed. The gardener scatters and then goes on doing what they do. They sleep, they rise and mysteriously the seed sprouts. In our modern age we have a greater sense of how this all happens. Even so, there is some mystery to it all. We don't have control. God calls us to scatter the seed and then live our lives. The kingdom will sprout without our having the details. The Holy Spirit is not a project manager. 

So it goes that a parable I have heard all my life rings new like a weed sprouting a day after I sprayed my beautiful garden. I don't know how, but it has sprouted and wrapped around my present need. So I will sleep and rise night and day trusting that the Spirit is moving us and we don't have to know how.