Back to school (sort of)

I am taking an online course at coursera.org  . This site is the leader in free online courses from major educational institutions. I am not getting credit, but what is credit anyway?

I am taking Modern and Contemporary American Poetry from the University of Pennsylvania. Wow! Professor Al Filreis has gathered a great team who are making things happen. Over 30,000 people from all over the world are participating in the course.

I am loving it. I am looking forward to taking other courses. Take a look at the offerings and stretch yourself. You just might learn something.

Inspiration from the Congregation

I am delighted to see the Faith Voices section of St. James, Knoxville, TN . We are updating the website, and I must say that the blog posts from various parishioners are my favorite. Check it out.

"You DO believe in God!"

At vestry meeting the discussion turned to whether or not we should allow nominations from the floor for vestry members as we are using a different selection process than voting by ballots. I had to let it be known that I understood her concerns and found nominations from the floor to be rather annoying no matter the selection method. I also feel that we should allow for nominations from the floor. We just have to trust.
After the meeting she comes up to me and says “You really do believe in God.” To which I replied “Well, I guess I do.” She says, “Some people were wondering.”
I was glad that my faith was revealed by my willingness to let the chosen process go without having to control it. I was also glad that many people understand that at some point we just have to trust.
My heart is also warmed to think that some of my parishioners might actually wonder if I believe in God. (Was she just being silly?) I think there was truth in her humor, and that maybe I have been real enough with some folks for them to see that I am not always 100% on the belief meter.
I do believe, or trust, or desire God- I feel less certain about how God works in the world, but I am holding out for a loving God that comes on a lot like the Jesus revealed in the Gospels. (Yes, I do trust that Jesus is indeed God!)
Thanks to Barbara for the reminder that I do believe, on a day when I wasn’t so sure. Of all things, I get that word from a discussion about our desire to control things. My heart and mind were stuck in that territory most of the day.
I definitely believe in God.

The Need to Know

Looking toward preaching on Sunday I re-read Mark 4:26-34, and I realized that I had missed something before. Jesus tells this story of what the kingdom of God is like: 

"As if someone would scatter seed on the ground, and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how."

That was the part I missed. The gardener scatters and then goes on doing what they do. They sleep, they rise and mysteriously the seed sprouts. In our modern age we have a greater sense of how this all happens. Even so, there is some mystery to it all. We don't have control. God calls us to scatter the seed and then live our lives. The kingdom will sprout without our having the details. The Holy Spirit is not a project manager. 

So it goes that a parable I have heard all my life rings new like a weed sprouting a day after I sprayed my beautiful garden. I don't know how, but it has sprouted and wrapped around my present need. So I will sleep and rise night and day trusting that the Spirit is moving us and we don't have to know how. 

Episcopal Church Housekeeping

(From the June 2012 Newsletter of St. James Episcopal Church, Knoxville, TN)



Despite my best intentions I often allow clutter to overtake my car and study. After a short time a stack of mail, books to read, and assorted cups and soda cans crowd any available space. Social scientists have actually studied the impact of clutter on our lives and suggest that a messy space affects our physical and emotional health. The health of institutions can also suffer from the clutter of their systems and ways of relating. The Episcopal Church has been challenged to look our clutter and to do something about it.



The General Convention of the Episcopal Church will gather July 5-12 for its triennial meeting. Many of you are aware that human sexuality will once again be a big topic at convention, and will be the one that the press is most likely to cover. The convention will consider a resolution to approve a rite for the blessing of same-gender relationships. This rite will be for ‘trial use,’ meaning that bishops will direct the usage of such rites in each diocese and there will be some mechanism of reporting on how the rite is used. All indications are that this resolution will pass the convention. This will also call on the community of St. James to consider how this will influence our life together. In a way, it is a kind of housekeeping. For some time St. James has been a community that welcomes and affirms gay and lesbian members. Some of those in committed relationships have asked for a blessing of their relationship. I am allowed to pray with those folks but we are not performing blessings in the church itself. As I have met with these couples I have been frustrated that we can’t name those relationships within the context of the larger community. To allow for a rite of blessing is a matter of housekeeping. We would be putting the naming and blessing of God present in relationship in its proper place rather than keeping it in the clutter off to the side.



Many dioceses have sent resolutions to General Convention which call for a reorganization of the Episcopal Church structures. These resolutions are in response to the realization that a great deal of our expense at the national level has gone to administrative costs rather than mission. Our structures have become cluttered with commissions that could stand to spend time and money better in order to pursue mission. This reorganization is not a new thing. We have been in a process of understanding how our national structure can help support mission at other levels. I am sure that this discussion will dominate the conversation at convention, and continue to be part of discussions around the Episcopal Church.



What does that have to do with us? Well, we are the Episcopal Church and we have some housekeeping to do. As a parish we are literally attending to some needs of our physical plant so that we can fix some problems and prevent bigger issues. As a community we tend to our own ministries, and we do need to look at how practice those ministries. Is the ministry serving a real need? Is it easy for people to join in the work of the ministry? We do have new folks joining us and our attendance is on the rise. At the same time our budget is smaller. We have cut expenses, and our giving is lower than in previous years. There are many great ideas for ministry in word and deed, but there is a low commitment to leading those things (“I can help, but I don’t want to be in charge.” is a statement heard in many organizations in our culture.) While such things might be sobering, it is also an opportunity to consider different ways of doing things. Much like on the national level, we have an opportunity to creatively shape programs that are nimble, and varied. I am reminded of the early disciples who moved from place to place spreading the Good News whatever way they could.



I also believe that we have an opportunity to take inventory on an individual level. How are we living our lives? Are we shaping our lives so that we are witnesses to the Good News of Jesus Christ? What is distracting us from connecting with others? What clutters up our lives and keeps us from trusting that the Spirit will give us what we need to be faithful witnesses? In the financial uncertainly that is sweeping the globe we also must ask how we live with money. Do we truly need all this stuff? Are we living with our money in a way that glorifies God? (I am preaching to myself here, and it hurts!)



I hope that this call to housekeeping can stir up some conversation. May our discussions be holy and faithful. May our actions be fruitful. I truly hope that no one issue will distract us from the call to serve others in God’s name. We do need to speak of and wrestle with important issues, but those must be addressed in the context of our life in Christ. Join in the tending of the house (literal, spiritual, and otherwise) that God has given us. God saw fit to set up house in human skin and wants to live in yours.



Peace,




John Mark

Psalm Writing, Poetry, and the Soul

Last night at my parish we had Ray McGinnis lead a workshop on Psalm writing and journaling. I was reminded of how powerful poetry can be in stirring the soul. In one exercise, Ray had us take a list of phrases and use them to write a personal psalm. Some people used several of the phrases, some started with one and took off from there, and others ran with a theme inspired from the words shared. People who thought they couldn't write much were turning words that revealed a depth of soul and you could feel it in the room. After many people shared what they had written, one woman commented that she felt as though she had been to worship. Indeed, there was a sense of the Holy as people shared words that revealed their own searching and finding.
Look through the Psalms and find those phrases that might shape a personal psalm.

Suggestions include:

I waited patiently

You go before me

Bones grow weak

I cry aloud to God

Over the waters

Myself a sanctuary

Ancient doors

Like a bird to the mountains

Look at me and answer

Like the feet of a deer

In the morning

. . . and you can find your own. Let the familiar phrases shape in you a response to God. Let the power of images and words awake the soul.

Peace,

John Mark

Pastors should be blogging

Dang! I am at this conference where I am being told that I should be blogging more! Here is this blog that I have been ignoring! I will be changing this. Now that I have shared this with a couple of people, I might have to keep it up.

John Mark Wiggers: 'It Is About Trust.” » Metro Pulse

Check out this interview with me in a Knoxville free paper. John Mark Wiggers: 'It Is About Trust.” » Metro Pulse:

'via Blog this'

Spiritual But Not Religious? Don't Challenge Me

I recently read a blog entry entitled Spiritual But Not Religious? Please, Stop Boring Me . It is written by a minister who recounts that she often hears the line "I am spiritual, but not religious" when people find out that she is a pastor. I know the feeling. I also resonate with the snarky response she exhibits in her blog. I often roll my eyes and think what a lazy response "spiritual but not religious" seems to be. So I chuckled when I read this response and shared the links through various social media. Many friends (clergy and lay) liked and re-posted. One wise parishioner responded by asking what I thought about this attitude. "Is this the only Christian response?"


First of all, I am sure that the author of the piece didn't mean to dismiss these folks. If  this pastor is anything like me and a few other ordained people I know, she is also letting fly some of the cynical frustration that bubbles under the collar. (I did say that I resonated with this, didn't I?) In fact, the piece makes us religious types laugh at the experience, and at ourselves. Laughing at ourselves or others is a good place to start when considering a more compassionate response. 


My parishioner dug deep and came back with some pointed questions. She said:


 I wonder what is your take on this? I thought the author blindly lumped the "spiritual but not religious" together without considering the variety of people who may utter this sentence. People, maybe, who have been wounded by a religious institution. It is also a zero-sum game she proposes: either the person is a cloud-gazing coward, or they are like her, bravely seeking God in humanity. Isn't it possible that they are both without being "religious"? Is this the only Christian response? One that compares and qualifies our spirituality to that of others?


With congregants like this, who needs a spiritual director? This is indeed not the only Christian response. A more pastoral response would take into account where the person was coming from and what their experience might be.  Many of those categories are noted in the comment above. Religious groups have done a great deal of damage, and the message of a grand deity watching over us doesn't always pass as positive. Of course, pain and negativity aren't always good reasons to take an easier path.  


Most religions worth anything are well aware of pain and suffering. We acknowledge, accept it, and respond to it. A spirituality of the sunset isn't invalid. I believe that we need more than this for true spiritual transformation. I have found the religious community to be a place where I can bring my sunset experiences as well as my wounds, doubts, and fears. I find the rituals and prayers of old that hold me accountable for seeing the beauty of life, and the reality of death. I find a community that challenges me and tolerates me. I am called to consider the wonder of God in nature, and to turn to my fellow humans with compassion. 


So, to that person telling me they are "spiritual but not religious" I can offer a listening ear, and share my own journey of what religion has done to hold and shape my spirituality. I can also challenge my own community to be a place that welcomes the wounded without comparing their way to ours. We can realize that some folks just can't be involved in community in the same way as those of us who feel drawn to communion, or can't imagine not having burial rites within the church walls. 


Today, I am thankful for a pastor who expressed in a humorous way what I often feel. I also give thanks for a parishioner who called me beyond a chuckle. I will take all of us this with me when I pray using forms passed to me through religious tradition. As I look to the sunset I will hold in those prayers all who find spirituality outside religious forms. 

One Sojourner's Journey of Believing Out Loud

News broke this week that Sojourners Magazine declined to accept an ad for Believe Out Loud, an interfaith organization promoting the inclusion of gay, lesbian, and transgender people in congregations and faith communities. The news and responses have stirred many folks to share their opinion on the matter. I got sucked into commenting on a young man’s Facebook post that expressed pleasure that Sojo did not print the ad. In the midst of all the banter, phrases like “liberal gay agenda” and “the bible clearly says” had me grinding my teeth. I felt the familiar exhaustion of this ongoing argument, and I also felt that I have a personal stake in it.

I take the issue of including LGBTQ people in the church personally because I am the rector of a congregation that has been welcoming for some time. Last year, an older member of my congregation approached me about St. James signing on to be a Believe Out Loud congregation. We presented the information to our vestry, formed a committee, and had an open meeting with the congregation. Believe Out Loud asks congregations to make and publish a statement that explicitly welcomes people. The committee had a statement that they presented to those gathered. Most people were supportive and shared stories of their relationships and experience. A few expressed that the lifestyles affirmed were just wrong, and the church should not be endorsing them. Others were concerned that the statement wasn’t inclusive enough. At the end of the evening those gathered referred the decision to the vestry.

At the next vestry meeting our affiliation with Believe Out Loud was approved along with the following statement:

St. James Church welcomes all people. We believe that God's grace embraces and dwells in everyone. We welcome all people to ministry and worship regardless of race, ethnicity, creed, class, age, gender, marital status, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. All are welcome.

We subsequently began to publish the statement on our bulletin, newsletter, and website. We also linked to the Believe Out Loud website. The response was almost immediate. People started calling me, and visiting the Church because they felt welcomed. A few months after this process a parishioner did come talk to me as they were distressed about the statement and thinking of leaving the congregation that they had been part of for many years. “Why are we doing this?” they asked. “We are already welcoming. They are already accepted here. Why do we need to say this?” Great question, so why are we saying this?

I believe that the driving force behind the congregation of St. James making this statement is relationship. At our congregational meeting, many people shared stories of being gay and finding acceptance here, of their children and grandchildren, and of their experience of knowing faithful gay and lesbian people who reflect the love of God in their lives. Many of us have known the witness of long-lasting loving relationships that in no way could fit the description of “vile affections” as described in Romans 1. It has “seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit” to honor and welcome these people into our congregations. Many, myself included, feel that we should be naming God’s blessing on these relationships as well.

It has been through relationships that I came to accept homosexuality- no, that is not right- to accept people of all kinds. I was not convinced by “the gay agenda.” My relationships have caused me to look again at scripture, our culture, and my faith traditions. In those things I see that relationships are what change people. Knowledge of God might lead us to relationship, but it is not the relationship itself. In fact, relationships of any kind are mysterious. We can’t know everything about the other (or even ourselves). Indeed, my theology is very much influenced by the subjective, and the felt. I admit that, and know that subjective arguments will not satisfy many people.

In my daily life I am convinced completely by relationship. It is the relationships of people at St. James that caused us to make an explicit statement welcoming all people. Of course some say that no statement is needed as we are already welcoming. Some say that the statement excludes those it doesn’t mention. To that I say that we (at least our particular community) do not make this statement for ourselves, we make it for our relationship to the world. There are people who have no idea that there is a place where they can be welcomed to worship God and be a follower of Christ. Issues of sexuality are at the forefront of cultural argument and attention, so we hold that up now. Maybe we won’t need this statement some day. We have made this statement out of the particular experiences of relationship and how they have changed us. We make this statement in order to call people into relationship with God.

I am trying to honor those who disagree with me, and I am grateful that some who don’t agree with the St. James Believe Out Loud statement have continued to worship and minister with us. I am finding that my relationships are pushing toward my coming out more openly as a supporter of LGBTQ people. So I start today with these words on a blog that is read by only a few people I am in relationship with. May relationships continue to transform us. May relationship with God be declared as open to all.

So Much to Say

In the light of the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden I have been curious to see what folks are saying around the internet. I am especially interested in Christian responses. If anything, I know that it stirs up many things inside of me. I am glad that an evil man has been stopped, yet i am sad that violence for violence remains the way of humanity. I will not rejoice in the killing of anyone. Jesus calls us to pray for our enemies, and so I do. I come to pray with a heart that is conflicted and searching. I come believing that prayer changes us. For the past few days my prayer has been guided by these words in the Book Of Common Prayer:

For our Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love
our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth:
deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in
your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you,
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP 816)

I have also appreciated the following:

Experimental Theology: What To Say?

I copy the letter below that my friend The Rev. Rob Wright sent to his congregation. Rob doesn't mention it, but he also served in the U.S. Navy.

St Pauls Episcopal church - Homepage

A Letter from the Rector - May 2, 2011 Brothers and Sisters, I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ. I write in response to the report that Osama Bin Laden and others have been killed. While some will, understandably, rejoice at this news, I do not. I believe many others around the world do not. Something other than celebration is required here. A human being is dead, killed by other human beings. To say nothing of the many human beings killed over the nearly ten years since the war and manhunt began. While it is reported that Osama Bin Laden was a killer himself-and I have every reason to believe that- yet, even killers are human beings made in the image of God. Some say that justice has been done in ridding the world of Osama Bin Laden, and other "high priority targets," but this is not the justice that Jesus himself lived and taught. At His arrest the night before his Crucifixion Jesus told His disciples,"...those who live by the sword will die by the sword." There is no real justice or victory in the killing of Osama Bin Laden, or in any terrorist attack, or in any war, or with the execution of any criminal, only a tragic continuation of violence as a false solution passed on from one generation to the next. Please do not think me naïve; I was in New York City when hijacked airplanes toppled the Twin Towers. I was at Ground Zero while the buildings were still on fire ministering to First Responders. I saw first hand what hate and murder produced, and that emboldens me to say these things to you now: murder in all its forms is a moral failure, and a confession of our lack of creativity and civility. Today I ask you to join with me and other people around the world, Muslim and Christian alike in praying for the souls of all those killed: Osama Bin Laden; the men and women of our armed forces; all the families that have an empty seat at their dinner tables; the nameless faceless people in Iraq, Afghanistan Pakistan and finally for ourselves, our nation and our President, that we would recommit ourselves to the justice that Jesus actually taught, " to love enemy, to bless those that curse you; to pray for those who despitefully use you." Alleluia Christ is Risen! Rob+

Good words in troubled times. As we go forward I am comforted by the words of the angels at the empty tomb, "Be not afraid," and of the words of the risen Jesus to his disciples, "Peace be with you."

Indeed.

Fr. Dude

Technology and Lent

Many of my friends give up Facebook and/or the internet for Lent. I can understand this. What if for every time I skimmed my news feed I was praying or reading scripture? Well, I use my many devices to aid me in prayer and study. I was gifted a lovely Nook Color and I have loaded it with ebooks including a Bible, and some prayer resources.

I recently discovered a plan online for reading the Church Fathers for Lent at http://www.churchyear.net/lentfathers.html . This site has the reading in several PDF forms including one that has the reading schedule and the complete readings. The dates listed are for 2010, but one can easily adjust. I downloaded the full text and converted it to an ebook at Online epub converter, a free conversion site that I have found to be safe and easy. I loaded the text on my Nook and now I can easily keep this part of my discipline wherever I go.

In this case, technology is an aid to my discipline of study. This is not always the case. I must confess that I most often use the internet as a distraction. I do use it to study, and to say the Daily Office, but I am frequently playing games or wandering down a twisted path of links and comments. While I use social media I don't feel like I use it as well as I could. I started this blog years ago, and have but a few posts. Any blog is about shameless self promotion, but most blogs also have some higher purpose. I certainly intended to use this blog as a way to stimulate some thinking about things that are important to me and my journey with Christ. As a priest I have indeed found that the personal becomes universal if we but only share with others. The sermons wherein I preach what I need to hear resonate more with others than when I am preaching about what I think I know. So as I turn inward during Lent, I pledge to make use of the technology available to me to also turn outward. I will better use this blog and social media to share my journey, believing that others might be touched by the reflections of a fellow pilgrim.

So brothers and sisters, do not be like those wire-heads who speak into their tooths of blue to seem important, or like the gamers who ignore the body for the virtual, or like the posters who vent behind anonymous comments. Seek what is good. Proclaim the good news from the rooftops, the laptops, and the smartphones. Do not judge those hypnotized by the lighted screen, but instead let the light of God shine in your hearts.

Have a blessed Lent. Perhaps you might want to do your own search of the internet for helps during Lent. Share with others how you use technology to draw closer to God. For starters, check out what The Rev. Scott Gunn has to say over at Seven Whole Days .

The Dude Abides.

Summer Camp is an Alternate Universe

I recently served as chaplain to the 8th and 9th grade camp session at my diocesan camp. I volunteered myself for a question and answer session with the kids about matters of faith. They asked some great questions. I readily admitted that I didn't have all the answers. Faith is about trust, and trust is a matter of relationship. In relationships we don't have all the answers.

One child asked about translation issues surrounding Genesis 1:1. (I know! 8th and 9th graders!) The typical translation "In the beginning" can also be translated "In a beginning." (You could also support leaving out the article, thus "In beginning.) So this kid wonders if "a" could indicate that there were/are numerous beginnings and therefore many parallel creations. Well, that could happen. We just don't know.

For me, being at camp was another universe. The beauty of creation, and the easy going pace were refreshing. Many people assume that I must have been exhausted after spending time with these adolescents. That was not the case at all. Instead, I have come back to this plane of existence renewed. The probing questions of the youth were a major part of that renewal. Being able to admit that I didn't have the all answers reminded me that God doesn't require us to be right. God, through grace, makes us righteous people doing God's work in the world (and possibly in alternate realities.)

I got witnessed to!

On a recent Sunday afternoon I joined some friends and family at her restaurant for lunch. There was a long wait for tables and we decided to wait outside. Being Sunday we had just come to church, and I was stressed out in my clericals. A woman approached me and asked what church I was from. I told her St. James on Broadway, an Episcopal church. She says that she is always curious about what different churches believe. "what does your church believe about salvation?" I gave my standard short answer, that the church, and I also believe that salvation is up to God. We believe that it is God's grace that saves us. She nodded and asked how it is that one is saved. Well, we accept Christ. At some point I mentioned baptism, at which point she interrupts, "So you have to do something?" From that point on, the conversation was hers. She told me how she raised Roman Catholic, and never been taught that salvation was by God's grace. She told me that she'd asked a priest once how she could be forgiven and lamented that the priest did not show her in Scripture that it is God who can forgive and take away her sins. She went on to tell me that she had been living a wealthy life, but had been terribly unhappy. One day, a born-again woman (her description) told her of God's saving grace that it is through faith and that we are saved not by works. She responded and received Christ. She related that a year later her husband to have committed his life to Christ and that now they were preparing to go to a reservation to be missionaries. She gave me a couple of tracts detailing the way to salvation.

I nodded, smiled, and thanked her. My sense was that we both agreed that it is by God's grace we are saved. It was also my sense that she would not agree that we were in agreement. Some of those with me were disturbed. The prevailing complaint was that it seemed to them that the woman felt so sure that she was right that I was wrong. I wasn't really frustrated by the encounter. She was being authentic to who she was. I can definitely say that I've been mulling over this business of grace, works, and salvation. She got me thinking.

It is quite confusing thing, and it's not a new argument. For the first several hundred years of Christianity most of the arguments were about the nature of Christ. The battles regarding the nature of salvation came later. Rightfully, they came in resistance to corrupt systems in which the institution of the church controlled, who was in and who was out. I am personally familiar with this debate as I grew up believing that those Roman Catholics were going to hell because they believed that we were saved by being good people. I was taught a "grace, but" theology. We are saved by God's grace, but we had better believe certain things if we are truly saved.

These days I cling to belief that God is truly in charge of salvation. The sacraments, good works, and even saying a prayer to receive Christ are works that do not accomplish salvation. They are tools that open us to trusting that transforming grace of God. I know that I have to throw myself on these means of grace because these are things that remind me of that grace.

Maybe I will continue some discussion of grace and salvation. For now, I will say that I am believing that it is God's unmerited favor towards us that brings us healing. Even if I am wrong about that, I believe that God can forgive my error. Grace is just that powerful.

I am thankful that I got witnessed to, and I pray that this woman too can cling to the grace God has given us. I hope that she might have some realization that a long-haired guy in a clerical collar also holds to that grace, trusting completely in God to save us all.

National Day of Prayer Hooplah!

More than one of my Facebook friends posted the following:

President Obama has decided that there will no longer be a "National Day of Prayer" held in May. He doesn't want to offend anybody. Where was his concern about offending Christians last January when he allowed the Muslims to hold a day of prayer on the capitol grounds. As a Christian American "I am offended." If you agree copy and paste no matter what religion you are, this country was built on Freedom!!!

I responded immediately with some thinly veiled snarkyness that I think that this is a good idea, and that our faithful president is standing against the idolatry of civil religion. It turns out that the National Day of Prayer has not been cancelled, but that there will not be a ceremony to observe the day held at the White House. Check it out-

Snopes.com

I usually never respond to the "re-post this if you have a heart, love God, and don't kick puppies" kind of posts. I try to refrain from engaging in much discussion at all on Facebook, especially if that discussion could get heated. So, I have a blog that I can vent on and a few folks might read.

I do have a few things to say about the hype over the "cancellation" of the National Day of Prayer and other such public religious movements. I think a national day of prayer is great. The recognition of the day by our president doesn't move me. The suggestion that our president is leading our country into godlessness by not holding an observance of the day has my blood boiling.

As a Christian, I am offended by the amount of energy put into fighting over public nativity scenes, monuments to the ten commandments, and prayer in schools. I would like to say that I am sure that people leading these fights are well intentioned. My problem with these struggles is that they deal with things that do little to promote the faith, and might even present the faith in a distorted way.

Take the drive to have public monuments displaying the 10 Commandments. I perceive that many folks believe that having the 10 Commandments in classrooms and court houses will reduce crime and improve classroom behavior. Even if people don't believe that, the emphasis on the public display opens the opportunity for that. That, my friends, is some messed up magical thinking, and idolatry that I don't want my government to engage in. Leave the idolatry to religion.

We leave ourselves open to make an idol of any religious practice or symbol. The cross, the bible, the eucharist, and a host of other things can be imbued with superstition. We must wrestle with that in our own religious practice. Prayer is not magic, and God won't love you more if you give more money to your church. Our symbols and practices are helpful tools in our relationship with God. No nation can take away that relationship.

I appreciate keeping some distance between the empire and faith. The intermingling of faith and the state has too often turned evil. In more insidious ways the religious establishment has promoted the notion that being a good Christian means being a good citizen, polite, and successfully capitalist. Hmm, Jesus (and many before him) promoted some prophetic justice making (with mercy thrown into the mix.)

Many people fighting to erect the idols of public religion claim that our nation is going down. I agree with that. The United States of America will one day crumble into oblivion. I don't want to see that, but it will happen. The faith of millions of God-loving saints will endure through the demise of all nations. God's love will not be cancelled, taken, or established by any state.

Hey, man- this is just like, my opinion.

Peace.

A Blessed St. Thomas Day to All

I can never think of St. Thomas without turning to the poetry of Denise Levertov. The poem below is but one of her poems with Thomas as its subject. I can say little beyond what they say. For the reader "didymus" means "twin." Scripture give this name to Thomas, and it has been the subject of much speculation. Did he literally have a twin, or is this some literary convention?

For my friends who think that poetry is difficult to read I offer these instructions:

1. Don't be distracted by the shape of the poem on the page. As you read, the breaks and pauses that the shape gives your reading are part of the journey.

2. Read the poem aloud. (This goes for all poetry. Stand up, sit down, walk around, and read the poem aloud.)

God bless you in this season.

Denise Levertov

St. Thomas Didymus

In the hot street at noon I saw him
a small man
gray but vivid, standing forth
beyond the crowd's buzzing
holding in desperate grip his shaking
teethgnashing son,

and thought him my brother.

I heard him cry out, weeping and speak
those words,
Lord, I believe, help thou
mine unbelief,

and knew him
my twin:

a man whose entire being
had knotted itself
into the one tightdrawn question,
Why,
why has this child lost his childhood in suffering,
why is this child who will soon be a man
tormented, torn, twisted?
Why is he cruelly punished
who has done nothing except be born?

The twin of my birth
was not so close
as that man I heard
say what my heart
sighed with each beat, my breath silently
cried in and out,
in and out.

After the healing,
he, with his wondering
newly peaceful boy, receded;

no one
dwells on the gratitude, the astonished joy,
the swift
acceptance and forgetting.
I did not follow
to see their changed lives.
What I retained
was the flash of kinship.
Despite
all that I witnessed,
his question remained
my question, throbbed like a stealthy cancer,
known
only to doctor and patient. To others
I seemed well enough.

So it was
that after Golgotha
my spirit in secret
lurched in the same convulsed writhings
that tore that child
before he was healed.
And after the empty tomb
when they told me that He lived, had spoken to Magdalen,
told me
that though He had passed through the door like a ghost
He had breathed on them
the breath of a living man --
even then
when hope tried with a flutter of wings
to lift me --
still, alone with myself,
my heavy cry was the same: Lord
I believe,
help thou mine unbelief.

I needed
blood to tell me the truth,
the touch
of blood. Even
my sight of the dark crust of it
round the nailholes
didn't thrust its meaning all the way through
to that manifold knot in me
that willed to possess all knowledge,
refusing to loosen
unless that insistence won
the battle I fought with life

But when my hand
led by His hand's firm clasp
entered the unhealed wound,
my fingers encountering
rib-bone and pulsing heat,
what I felt was not
scalding pain, shame for my
obstinate need,
but light, light streaming
into me, over me, filling the room
as I had lived till then
in a cold cave, and now
coming forth for the first time,
the knot that bound me unravelling,
I witnessed
all things quicken to color, to form,
my question
not answered but given
its part
in a vast unfolding design lit
by a risen sun.

The Stream & the Sapphire: Selected Poems on Religious Themes (New Directions Paperbook) by Denise Levertov

Why can't those _______ just go away? And why isn't my priest speaking up about ____________?

I recently participated in a panel at the University of Tennessee on lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender people and faith. Ministers from congregations affirming of LGBT folks were invited to be part of the conversation. We heard some painful, and some hopeful stories. One member of the audience asked what role the pastors there thought that we should play in being an activist among other ministers. This questions comes up often for me. How involved should I be in leading activism? I often say that I don't lead with an "edge." What I mean by that is that I don't organize parishioners to march, I don't preach sermons declaring that we should demand gay marriage or absolutely denounce war. I feel that such moves should come from within the congregation. I know that I might alienate more people than I would encourage by leading the charge. Am I too soft? Should I be out in front on important issues?I struggle with this as a priest, and we all question how outspoken we should be in any given situation.

A great number of the pastoral issues I discuss with parishioners deal with how much is too much to share.

"Should I tell my sister-in-law how much she offended me?"

"Should I tell my friends to not use racist language around me?"

"Should I hang out with my sister-in-law who often uses racial slurs."

Those issues seem different from leading a march, or staging a boycott. However, they are all about relationship. The activist ideally speaks up for the sake of human relationships, and so does a friend or family member. The relationship, not the issue, often shapes our role in a confrontation.

My understanding of my role as a priest is that I will not be leading the march for any cause other than sharing the healing, and forgiving grace of Jesus Christ. I might march with my parishioners, or without them.

Relationship is a matter of being. I am in relationship with all people. I can't cut myself off from them without suffering.Another question was raised at the panel:

"Who cares if all these people leave our churches because they are upset over the acceptance of LGBT people?"

Well, I do (I try). I hurt because I feel the loss of relationship. I care because I love them (again, this is a work in progress even with those who share my opinions). Love can make us do some crazy things. We might race through the streets cheering, we might angrily take a stand, or we might sit and listen to those different from us.

So, I will listen to my parishioners who ask for advice on taking a stand, praying that they can know what the right thing is for them to do.

I will speak my mind without demanding that others change or agree with me.

I will continue to be visible in public discourse.

I will lead with the edge of loving our God, our neighbors, and ourselves.

Fr. Dude

Getting Back to My Dudeness

I may have made a mistake in being so public with my congregation with regard to my love for the film "The Big Lebowski". One 80 year old parishioner reported that in preparation for my arrival she watched the film. After getting past the frequent f-bombs she noted that it was funny, and brought matters around to a place of redemption. So my revelation has made some connection with her, and with others. It was at a previous parish that someone gave me the moniker "Father Dude" due to my appreciation of the film, my physical likeness, and I would like to think because of my way of abiding.

When asked by the St. James search committee I told them that my strengths were preaching, teaching, and abiding. I believe that to be true. I am able to be present with people in matters traumatic, joyful, and mundane. Not knowing how to do something doesn't really bother me. I can abide.

Of late, I haven't felt very abiding. I suppose that the busyness of moving, and adjusting to a new job has me frazzled. My minds wanders all over the place. I feel the need to take care of matters that just aren't my business. As I unpack my books I realize that I haven't read many of them, and think that I must read them so that I can be an expert on whatever their subject. I am slipping away from my dudeness.

Perhaps the worst way to focus is to keeping telling yourself to focus. Taking a step back, and focusing on the issue at hand recalls the dudeness. Who should be held accountable for peeing on my rug? One thing at a time.

As I write this I can see out of my window that it is a beautiful day. There is no need to stay in the study. Today I am called to abide outside. Just thinking about it stirs my inner dude.

New Be-ginnings

My commitment to blogging rises and falls. Of late, I have had the excuse that I am moving to a new town, and into a new postion as rector of St. James' Episcopal Church, Knoxville, TN. Starting a new job has me thinking about all the things that I am going to get right this time. I am going to be more organized, prompt in communication, and maintain the perfect balance of all aspects of my life. Those are honorable tasks indeed. I often think of such things as a struggle; a mountain to be climbed.

Viewing my goals as a struggle leaves me more focused on the striving rather than the journey. It sounds rather trite, but life truly is about the journey. There are practical matters to be considered on any journey. We must know where we are going, plan to refuel, and take along many of the things that we will need. Such mundane things in no way require that we skip the scenic views along the way. As important as the goal, the way we travel matters greatly.

I often speak of our "way of being". I didn't invent such thinking, I am just taken with it. Traveling with children certainly keeps me in mind of the way we journey. My children can often be focused on being entertained as they travel. I usually don't mind this as I so often prefer not to be distracted. Maybe being distraced is just what we need.

As I start my new ministry here in Knoxville, I know that the journey is about relationships. The primary distractions are the voices in my head saying "work harder", "organize", or "do better". A phone call, an e-mail, or a knock at the door are not the kind of distraction that will take me away from my course. They are often the very things that will keep me on track. It is in those relationships that I will see more clearly where I am going. It is in relationship that I will see Christ at work; in others as well as in me.

Clarity and preparation are essential; relationship is paramount. Being aware of the view, and the beauty around me only adds to the journey. Even more, those moments remind me that I am not alone. My journey is not a singular one. I travel with fellow pilgrims. While I have goals to reach they are not ultimate. My being is rooted in doing the work of God, and being Christ to the world. In that sense, we are all where we need to be. We are beginning, and we have arrived.

I am here. I will always be at a place of new beginning, and I will always be continuing in the work that began long before me.

Evelyn Underhill Quotes

Evelyn Underhill Quotes: "Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.
Evelyn Underhill"