I know what you nee

"What you need to do is. . . " and I don't recall what followed because my brain shut down in resistance. I just don't like to be told how I feel, what I need, or what I should do. Who does? Even when I know that someone has more expertise than me I still resist. I cringe when my doctor says that I need more exercise. My inner rebel stands to attention when my diocese hands down the call to attend another workshop. I don't even like financial guidance from my pension fund. This presents a challenge to me as my role as a priest often calls me to point out the needs of others. Of course we followers of Christ are called to love our neighbor. We wrestle with how to meet the needs of others in a way that honors their dignity and enables them to thrive. There are other needs that the Church seeks to meet, and it is those needs that I wish to address.

My role as a priest and pastor gets challenged when we set about the work of planning activities, worship, and mission for the parish. As I meet with staff and committees we look at what has drawn folks in the past, and at things that just are not working. Again and again I have heard some well meaning parishioner say: "We should ask folks what they want." I have followed that line of thinking before and found it to be a frustrating path. I recall youth group meetings where we made a list of all the great activities kids wanted. (We did leave off the suggestion that "beer and strippers" would help the group grow.) We set about planning many of those activities, but most were scrubbed as participation dwindled. We provided what they said they wanted and it didn't seem to matter. Ski trips and lock-ins are fun, but are they truly what the Church is about?

As the Church, we know what people need. As a priest, I know what you need. Hold on, please don't shut down as I so often do. We hold that people need a relationship with Christ, that Christ called us to live that relationship in community, and that this relationship will transform us and our world. You need a relationship with Christ. You need a community that holds you accountable. You need the transforming love of Christ that will increase your love of the world.

We may want a congregation that gives us the music we like, entertains our kids, and has a pastor we can relate to. Those are not we need. I am challenged as those are some of the very things that I focus my concern on when considering congregational life. I worry about the numbers and try to think of flashy ways to draw people in. Yet I see every day that the people who are growing in commitment to Christ and the Church are not asking for those things. They are folks who have found real transformation by engaging in the life of the community. They have entered into worship as an experience with God even if they don't like a particular song or the sermon is kind of flat. They have built relationships over cups of mediocre coffee. They have found the love of Christ in authentic community.

So to my parishioners I want to apologize for trying to give you what you want. Such efforts have exhausted me and haven't provided what you need. I extend a challenge to my ordained brothers and sisters to step up and tell people what they need. It is the same thing we all need. We need that loving relationship with Christ. Whether we know it or not, it is what we truly desire.

Did I say that. . . ?

I think I said that I was going to write more during Lent. My intention was to journal, write poems and stories, and to blog more. It seems I did not understand this thing I was thinking. I have been writing a little more. I am not going to share my journal, but I will promote my blogging over at my parish website. Check out what I had to say about the Oscars and Holy Week .

Then again, not keeping up with a proposed Lenten discipline is fine. It give me pause to think about what I believe about God's forgiveness. It makes me ask why I would choose writing more as a spiritual discipline.

So. . .

As to forgiveness, I just can't imagine God really cares if we keep our Lenten disciplines. However I did choose a discipline so that it would strengthen my faith. I wanted to commit to writing because I feel that I have something to say and that God has something to do with that. All the reasons I find not to write tend to be real time wasters. I also know that when I do write I feel a sense of the Divine as the creativity gets going. I also feel more whole, which is a feeling that I associate with drawing closer to God. So the real exercise here is to forgive myself for slacking off, and start writing. (Thus I presently ramble.)

That stirred me up a bit. There are some topics floating around now. How about the question of what God does care about? What about a ramble on rambling?

Hey, I did some more writing. This Lenten thing is spurring me on.

Have fun this Lent. . . ?

Lent has a reputation as a season of dreary remembrance of our sins, and penitent fasting to express our sorrow and turn our hearts. "Fun" usually doesn't make it's way into discussions of this Christian season which leads us to the celebration of Easter. Christians have longed dedicated themselves to prayer and fasting during this season. This can be a good thing. Can it be fun?

Apparently Lent can be fun. Some bloggers have gotten together to create Lent Madness . Drawing inspiration from college basketball, these folks have arranged a bracket to pit saints against one another in a competition leading to the award of the Golden Halo. Lent can be fun, and if you give this a try you might learn something about the cloud of witnesses who have come before.

I plan to commit to writing more during Lent. That would include blogging so the few folks who read this now have permission to hold me accountable. I also plan to join in the fun over at Lent Madness. We can make it part of our discipline to learn about the faithful followers of Christ throughout the ages.

Join me on the journey.

One Sojourner's Journey of Believing Out Loud

News broke this week that Sojourners Magazine declined to accept an ad for Believe Out Loud, an interfaith organization promoting the inclusion of gay, lesbian, and transgender people in congregations and faith communities. The news and responses have stirred many folks to share their opinion on the matter. I got sucked into commenting on a young man’s Facebook post that expressed pleasure that Sojo did not print the ad. In the midst of all the banter, phrases like “liberal gay agenda” and “the bible clearly says” had me grinding my teeth. I felt the familiar exhaustion of this ongoing argument, and I also felt that I have a personal stake in it.

I take the issue of including LGBTQ people in the church personally because I am the rector of a congregation that has been welcoming for some time. Last year, an older member of my congregation approached me about St. James signing on to be a Believe Out Loud congregation. We presented the information to our vestry, formed a committee, and had an open meeting with the congregation. Believe Out Loud asks congregations to make and publish a statement that explicitly welcomes people. The committee had a statement that they presented to those gathered. Most people were supportive and shared stories of their relationships and experience. A few expressed that the lifestyles affirmed were just wrong, and the church should not be endorsing them. Others were concerned that the statement wasn’t inclusive enough. At the end of the evening those gathered referred the decision to the vestry.

At the next vestry meeting our affiliation with Believe Out Loud was approved along with the following statement:

St. James Church welcomes all people. We believe that God's grace embraces and dwells in everyone. We welcome all people to ministry and worship regardless of race, ethnicity, creed, class, age, gender, marital status, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. All are welcome.

We subsequently began to publish the statement on our bulletin, newsletter, and website. We also linked to the Believe Out Loud website. The response was almost immediate. People started calling me, and visiting the Church because they felt welcomed. A few months after this process a parishioner did come talk to me as they were distressed about the statement and thinking of leaving the congregation that they had been part of for many years. “Why are we doing this?” they asked. “We are already welcoming. They are already accepted here. Why do we need to say this?” Great question, so why are we saying this?

I believe that the driving force behind the congregation of St. James making this statement is relationship. At our congregational meeting, many people shared stories of being gay and finding acceptance here, of their children and grandchildren, and of their experience of knowing faithful gay and lesbian people who reflect the love of God in their lives. Many of us have known the witness of long-lasting loving relationships that in no way could fit the description of “vile affections” as described in Romans 1. It has “seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit” to honor and welcome these people into our congregations. Many, myself included, feel that we should be naming God’s blessing on these relationships as well.

It has been through relationships that I came to accept homosexuality- no, that is not right- to accept people of all kinds. I was not convinced by “the gay agenda.” My relationships have caused me to look again at scripture, our culture, and my faith traditions. In those things I see that relationships are what change people. Knowledge of God might lead us to relationship, but it is not the relationship itself. In fact, relationships of any kind are mysterious. We can’t know everything about the other (or even ourselves). Indeed, my theology is very much influenced by the subjective, and the felt. I admit that, and know that subjective arguments will not satisfy many people.

In my daily life I am convinced completely by relationship. It is the relationships of people at St. James that caused us to make an explicit statement welcoming all people. Of course some say that no statement is needed as we are already welcoming. Some say that the statement excludes those it doesn’t mention. To that I say that we (at least our particular community) do not make this statement for ourselves, we make it for our relationship to the world. There are people who have no idea that there is a place where they can be welcomed to worship God and be a follower of Christ. Issues of sexuality are at the forefront of cultural argument and attention, so we hold that up now. Maybe we won’t need this statement some day. We have made this statement out of the particular experiences of relationship and how they have changed us. We make this statement in order to call people into relationship with God.

I am trying to honor those who disagree with me, and I am grateful that some who don’t agree with the St. James Believe Out Loud statement have continued to worship and minister with us. I am finding that my relationships are pushing toward my coming out more openly as a supporter of LGBTQ people. So I start today with these words on a blog that is read by only a few people I am in relationship with. May relationships continue to transform us. May relationship with God be declared as open to all.