Advent approaches and I am feeling like doing some new year’s resolutions. After all, Advent does mark the beginning of a new church year. I often find myself resolving to do new things, to make some changes. I get these urges around transitional times. The new year, my birthday, Lent, and even the new school year send me into a pensive self examination. A recurring theme for me is the recurrence of particular resolutions. They are the standard health, new hobbies, time, and less this or more of that kinds of things. I can make a change for a little while, but then I fall away from my intentions. Some things should never have been on the list or are not worth worrying about. There are other things that matter, they are things I need to change. What is missing? Why can’t I maintain commitment?
I firmly believe that all genuine change begins with a spiritual change. With that in mind, I can easily fall into the guilt trap of thinking that I am not spiritual enough. I also believe that spirituality thrives on community. Individual spiritual “strength” means very little outside of relationship. Perhaps relational rejuvenation is in order before I can commit to an exercise plan or blogging on a regular basis. Thinking about relationships presents a host of questions and resolutions. I can pledge to do better all I want to, but the slightest failure to deliver can send me into my interior cave. Keep it simple. What is something that I can share in almost all of my relationships? Of course, food, I can easily eat with friends, family or strangers.
Food plays a major role in the transitional times of the year. On January 1 I eat as many black-eyed peas as possible, Lent has Fat Tuesday, and so I guess Thanksgiving could stand as the pre-Advent food fest. We could call it “Fat Thursday” or “Jeudi Gras.”
I am not suggesting that Thanksgiving be turned into a Bacchanalian romp. It could serve as a good time to examine relationships. It is a time packed with memories of favorite foods, and family gatherings. It is also actually packed with food. As we break bread together we share, we connect, and we relate. Just getting the meal organized, passing the food, and cleaning up take some communication. Perhaps we could take “Would you please pass?” and “Can I get you anything?” to everyday life. Those two questions can point us in the right direction(s). With one I am asking for help, and with the other I am being present to another. That is just me asking the questions. Turn them around and I have the opportunity to be open to receive. Giving and receiving are the stuff of transformation.
So this Fat Thursday I am putting aside my resolutions and looking at the people around me. I have the suspicion that I might find myself changed. Isn’t that what I am looking for with all my resolutions? I want some change in my being, not new activities. I am going to lift a turkey leg to relationship and expect transformation to come. I will be changing for relationship and looking for the advent.